Success on probation begins and ends with this one statement: NO MORE VICTIMS.
SUCCESS GENERALLY
The primary definition of our success as former offenders must be centered on ensuring that we are safe, trustworthy individuals who will never create new victims of our offending behavior. Regardless of how much money one makes, how good a job one has, how nice a residence or vehicle one possesses, or how many personal relationships one maintains, any behavior that leads to criminal exploitation or victimization of the vulnerable negates any superficial indicators of “success.”
Part of our success model for the future must be to set a good example for those who come behind us as we pave the way to a better future for them. Success involves living in a way that helps the public more positively accept us as we reenter society.
Many people who have committed sexual offenses go out from prison on Parole and/or Probation, sometimes for many years. We are delighted to present some stories of those who have had tremendous success on probation/parole. One thing all of these have in common is a commitment to the most important principle of “NO MORE VICTIMS.”
PAUL
Paul spent 10 years in prison, did a year-and-a-half on parole, and is now in his third year on probation. Paul has a life he enjoys. Paul was discipline-free in prison and on probation. He passes his polygraph examinations. He is not in a relationship, and he is fine with that. He has a few hobbies, and he generally does what he wants to do while staying within the confines of probation rules.
He lives a simple life, quietly abiding by his terms and choosing to continue living in a complex where many sex offenders live when they first get out. He finds his associations with new guys getting out of prison to be helpful both to him and to them. His place is nice and clean. He lives in his own apartment and has chosen to stay there because he feels it is best for him — even though probation may prefer that he relocate.
CLIFF & SARA
Cliff has been out of prison for nearly six years. Shortly after his release, he violated probation and went to County Jail for 30 days. He admits he was not doing what he should and he didn’t care. He didn’t take probation seriously. After he violated, he met a wonderful, healthy woman named Sara. They fell in love and got married. Sara went to chaperone training. Cliff makes a good living. They rent a nice house and drive nice cars. They have a healthy social life with many friends not on probation. They enjoy going to the movies, taking trips out of town, and going to car shows. They go out to eat, attend concerts, sporting events, and other special activities.
Cliff’s probation term started out rocky, but over time, he has earned the trust and respect of probation, and he is now approved to do most things he asks for.
Paul and Cliff have totally different lives and very different stories, but they are both successful.
CHARLES & MARY
When Charles first got out of prison, he didn’t want to follow the rules. He did whatever he wanted and he also violated, spending 30-days in County Jail. He was sick and tired of living that and decided to take things seriously, follow the rules, get honest, and authentic.
He soon met Mary. They wanted to be in a relationship; however, this presented challenges because Mary has two minor daughters. He worked with his probation team as support people, and after a while, they approved his relationship with Mary.
Charles and Mary have a good life together. He has privileges such as a smart-phone, going out of the county without advance permission, and attending sporting events. He takes trips to Las Vegas and loves his motorcycle!
DANE & LISA
Dane did not go to prison. He started sex offender treatment/therapy voluntarily during his Pre-Trial phase. Because of this, he was given the opportunity to serve lifetime probation in place of a prison sentence. He has now been on probation for four years. Dane says, “Before my sentencing, Lisa and I made peace with the outcome. In the end, we both realized what mattered to us: our identity as Christ-followers and our relationship with each other.”
Lisa finished chaperone training. They have been allowed to take out-of-state trips several times. Dane is on a “minimal supervision” probation caseload.
One of the keys to Dane’s success is that he immediately calls his probation team for anything. He does not try to “fly below the radar.” Instead, he chooses to view his probation team as integral to his Support Network.
Recently, when a close friend passed away, the family wanted Dane to speak at the memorial service. Dane and the church worked with probation to arrange this and he was allowed to honor the family and the memory of their friend who had passed away. Over 800 people attended the memorial service.
CONCLUSION
Although “Success” may look very different in the lives of different people, one constant applies to EVERYONE: NO MORE VICTIMS.
In many ways, success is all in your head. What looks like success to one person may not be what another person views as success, and that is okay. Can we all agree that having NO MORE VICTIMS would truly define success for all of us? Beyond that, only you truly know in your heart whether you are living the successful life you want. That is the most important thing.
—Editor’s Note: This is adapted from the Spring edition of the justLOT Ministries newsletter, “Food, Drink, Clothing & A Visit.”
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