As originally published in the Food, Drink, Clothing & A Visit newsletter Summer 2021
BF (AZ) is a friend of JUSTLOT Ministries I’ve never met in person. After a friend referred him to us, he received the newsletter inside for a couple of years. When he got out, he reached out to me, and we had a wonderful conversation on the phone. I asked him to share his release experience. He wrote,
You asked me, “What do I wish everyone knew about getting out? Is it how you thought it would be? Better? Worse?”
The day of release is one filled with joy, happiness, confusion, stress, and ultimately relief.
The ride to probation was filled with all those feelings, but getting out of the van and having those cuffs taken off for the last time was like something I have never felt.
The sense of being free and looking at the horizon without a fence in between literally brought tears to my eyes. The sun seemed brighter, the trees greener, the air fresher.
The COs that transported me seemed genuinely happy for me and wished me well. Also my lady was there waiting for me and seeing her and embracing her for the first time as a free man was also something I will never forget. We have been through so much together and being able to get into the car after the release paperwork with my PO was borderline too much for my senses.
I guess that brings me to probation. My PO is hard. My probation rules and regulations are harder, make no mistake about it. But it’s totally doable. It’s doable if you are willing to put in the work and walk the proverbial line. In prison, you hear about all the horror stories of probation and how they want to just put you back in. It’s just not true. Do I like all the rules? No. Do I like keeping a schedule, having a surveillance officer, doing therapy? No. But what’s the alternative? Being back inside for X amount of years?
My PO is tough but fair. I am able to do my errands, work, go out to eat, go up on Mt. Lemmon and hike. Over the last 6+ months since release, I have built some trust with her. She understands I did what I did, served my time and now just want to live my life and move on. I’m sure every case and individual is different, but if you put in the work, have goals, you can succeed.
The Bible says, “Walk by faith and not by sight.” You have to have faith and know that if you work hard, play by the rules and live the best life you can, it will all work out in the end. Another thing about hearing the stories from people who are back inside again is that they have to justify the reason why. They don’t want to take responsibility for failing on probation and make up stories to make it seem like it’s not their fault. That’s maybe a bit harsh, but from my experience, it’s true.
Are there some POs that are unreasonable? Perhaps, but again what are you willing to put up with in order to have your freedom? I drive my own car, sleep in a warm, comfortable bed. I eat the food that I want and for the most part go where I want. For me, the trials and tribulations I go through are worth it.
JW (PA) recently got the amazing news that he was granted parole and will be released soon. He shared some thoughts with his friends who were vessels for the love of Christ toward him and his wife during his incarceration.
Recently, as I was meditating on Galatians 6:1-10, I wrote down some thoughts that describe what I have experienced during the last eight years as I watched you deal with my tragic personal decisions and choices that landed me behind bars. My life at this moment could have been so much different had it not been for your faithful love and prayers. Allow me to share from my heart my gratefulness “to you which are spiritual.”
1. Being Spiritual Requires a Choice. A spiritual man or woman is one who chooses to be led by the Holy Spirit. Having a spiritual mindset doesn’t “just happen.” It is a decision to look beyond our natural responses and allow the Holy Spirit to guide our thoughts and responses. Thank you for making that choice.
2. Being Spiritual Seeks Restoration. My “being overtaken in a fault” caused much damage to so many people. It would be natural to receive condemnation and judgment from those I’ve hurt so deeply. Yet, by God’s grace, you have supported and prayed for my restoration. I am unable to express how grateful I am to have so many that have been there for me in my greatest hour of need. Thank you for your Spirit-led response.
3. Being Spiritual Bears Each Other’s Burdens. Everyone has his own burdens in this life. Some never move beyond what they must bear for themselves. That is why your care and concern these last 8 years absolutely amazes me. Thank you for reaching out beyond your own needs to care. I marvel at such grace.
4. Being Spiritual Demonstrates Love. “The law of Christ” is fulfilled when we love like Christ. Being hurt and disappointed is common to all of us in our relationships. The love that we share together is real and genuine. Thank you for sustaining your love for me, even when it costs you.
5. Being Spiritual Does Not Yield to Pride. It would have been easy for you to cut off our relationship. After all, you did no wrong and yet you had to suffer also. My sin hurt the entire body of Christ. That is one of the greatest hardships I deal with. Somehow you were able to rise above the hurt I caused you and not harbor resentment. Thank you for your example of godly humility.
6. Being Spiritual Continues to Communicate. Your prayers, calls, visits, letters, and gifts have been used by God to sustain us. Thank you for all the ways you stayed in touch. Trust me when I say that when your entire world shrinks to the size of an 8’x10’ cell, all communication is greatly appreciated. I am very appreciative of every act of love.
7. Being Spiritual Sows Love and Forgiveness. You chose to love and forgive despite the circumstances. I needed that so desperately. I struggled for a long time to think I could be loved and forgiven. It was the dark night of my soul. Your constant love and forgiveness brought healing to my soul. Thank you for sowing righteousness into my life.
8. Being Spiritual Kept You from Quitting. You did not give up on me. You did not become weary. Eight years is a long time to hang in there. Now as I come to the conclusion of this part of the journey, I am able to rejoice because you remained so faithful.
9. Being Spiritual Takes Opportunities to Do Good in a Bad Situation. You prayed for us, stood by us, and encouraged us. It could have easily been such a different story. Only those who are “spiritual” could have made such gracious sacrifices.
In the past few weeks, several guys have written very personal, moving
testimonies of what this ministry has meant to them. JS (AZ) wrote,
Hey there Mac! I was just sitting here enjoying my morning cup of coffee, reading your most recent newsletter. This one was extremely powerful. Wow! The name JUSTLOT means so much more now.
I loved the part on the love languages and the languages of apology and gratitude. When I first learned the love languages, it was so cool. At first I only thought of my own languages, but then I started thinking of the love languages of other people in my life. I remember thinking how much better and more intimately we could all communicate when we learn each others’ languages.
At times I find myself being so selfish. It was much worse before I came to prison. I used to be concerned with only me. It was always about my needs, wants, and desires. I still find myself that way, sometimes, but now I am more aware and I’m able to catch myself. In here — as I’m sure you know — it’s hard not to think or dwell on our own problems. Recently I have been focused on how others are doing and trying to really pay attention to others’ needs.
I’m very blessed in so many areas. It has been such a blessing really getting to know those in my circle on a intimate level, then making those circles larger and including more people. For too long, I just focused on myself, so I was unaware of what was going on in the lives of those I call friends in here. It was an eye opener seeing others’ struggles and seeing and feeling what they and their families have been facing. Made me realize my problems aren’t that bad, and I’m truly blessed. That’s not to say that my problems or struggles aren’t worthy, but it’s just neat to be there for others in ways I can and not only focus on mine. It’s made the relationships I have in here stronger.
I really enjoyed this letter. Thank you for all your efforts and the dedication you put into all the work you do. Anyway, thank you so much for all you do for all of us!
SEM (AZ), a friend from the very first days of my incarceration, put it this way,
This morning you and your love towards myself and others was on my mind. I like to pull out some of the past issues of the newsletter. This morning I picked up the Summer, 2019 issue and reread “Will I Find Faith When I Come?” What a wonderful article and full of “thought nuggets” (as I like to call things that someone writes that make me stop and think about what was written and what I knew of the person who wrote it). Thank you for that article.
It is amazing just how selfish I am, at times, and an article like this sets me back on my heels. There are so many religious groups out there that minister to prisons and prisoners, but they have not seen the other side of the bars and razorwire. They don’t actually understand what goes on behind them, and what a person goes through to survive in here. This is why I find your news letters and the “nuggets” within them so personal. I thank God for that.
I also want to personally thank you Mac and JUSTLOT for being there when no one else was. The JUSTLOT Ministries newsletter has given me comfort, things to think about, and answers to things I had thought about. It has brought tears to my eyes from laughter, when there wasn’t any, and joy to my heart from the messages from your heart. For this, I am thankful.
Mac, you my dear brother are the rarity of people who get out and do as they say they’re going to do in life after release. Yes sir, I remember that last couple of Bible studies when you told us of the ministry you were going to start. There were doubters. I’m ashamed to admit that I was one of them. I’ve seen it and heard it way too many times. But you, my dear brother, are a rare bird, and I’m proud of you, Mac, and proud to call you my brother.
You are the only person who kept his word when you said, “I will stay in touch.” You and the ministry are a rarity and a blessing. Thank you. You are indeed a true friend, in every sense of the word.
DS (AZ) is another man I’ve never personally met but whose heart has been knit with ours in shared purpose. He “caught the vision,” so to speak, and he wrote to tell me about it.
Just received the new newsletter and, as always, it’s a pleasure to help a ministry that I feel is much needed. I really look forward to helping more after my release as well. You, my family, and others have been such a blessing and inspiration that fits with the first part of JUSTLOT’S motto, Living Loved. God’s love has always been there, yet I didn’t pay attention. It took prison for me to wake up and see the physical manifestation of His love from others. It has continued to change me ever since for the better.
The second part, Living Loving — how can I not share the amazing gift of His love with others? It’s also part of God’s greatest command, to love one another. Plus faith without works is dead, so how can I best show some of that love? I love helping others, so I chose to start there.
Loving Living followed. Life always seemed like an often annoying series of challenges. That was then, and now I see those challenges as opportunities. That turned into having a true love of this life. Hey, love isn’t always easy LOL!
Seeing that as the motto for JUSTLOT (and being based in my home state of New Mexico!), I felt like this is what God wants for so many, I couldn’t ignore it.
GB (AZ) wrote to us just before Easter of this year,
Thank you for everything you do. For the past several weekends I have taken your newsletter and re-read many times over its entirety. There are so many quotes, stories, words of wisdom, humor and comic-like funnies with meanings.
You do a great service! In my time here I try to involve a lot of guys sharing your newsletters. When I come across subject matter that I feel is helpful for all, I become an advocate. My neighbor did the same for me (which is how I heard about you).
I think about my life and how different it will be when I’m home again. Family structure has changed; friends are gone, and my childhood family is no more. I look forward to starting over with a better me. My time spent here has not been wasted. Having done as much as I can, learning to be a better person and vowing not to hurt anyone again.
JLM — I want you to know that your newsletter, and the thought of your caring about us in here, matters to us. I (we) appreciate that. My neighbor and I talk about your ministries and how much it means to me (us) that people care about us.
RW (AZ), another dear friend from my days inside, sent me this amazing devotional I wanted everyone to see.
God So Loved: Perfect Tense
God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever would believe in Him would not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).
This could be called the greatest sentence ever written. But it’s interesting that it’s in the past tense, “God loved.” Why doesn’t it say, “God loves the world?”
In Greek, you may not see it, but the people who wrote this and thought this wrote and thought in Hebrew Aramaic. In Hebrew, there is no real past tense. But there is the perfect tense, and that’s what’s used as past tense. So when we see past tense, in Hebrew, it’s really perfect tense.
It doesn’t mean that it’s finished in the past, but that it’s complete; it’s done; it’s the absolute complete work. God’s love for you doesn’t need more. You can’t earn it. It’s done, finished, complete.
Loved is the perfect tense of love. It doesn’t need anything more. It’s complete on the cross. God’s love for you is perfect.
Don’t take away from it. Don’t add to it. Just receive it. For God so loved you —perfect tense.
From Johnathan Cahn’s daily devotional Sapphires. February 15, 2021
Recently, upon receiving some money to help with the expenses for her
husband’s upcoming release, an inmate’s wife wrote,
Our hearts are deeply touched by your far exceeding and above all we could ever imagine gift. What touches us so deeply is your depth of really understanding what needs and desires exist when [one is] released and, therefore, making the gift so generous and so specific! Needs [such as] clothes, treats, and a meal out. (He has expressed his desire for our first meal to eat out to be at Bob Evans.) [Your gift] is more than enough! Such gratefulness wells up inside us as we “think on these things” — “the greatest of these is love,” and how thankful we are for the creative and practical ways in which you packaged your love.
Finally, my Aunt Jani, a faithful reader and moral supporter of this ministry wrote
me this a few years ago. I’ve been waiting for the right time to share it with everyone. It is beautiful, and it blesses my heart every time I read it,
You are always wished blessings —(count ‘em!); And love and God’s constant guidance. A sense of humor because sometimes we take ourselves way too seriously. May you remember each day that it’s never “all about you” all the time; It’s about Jesus and His ongoing work in our lives and the lives of others. I wish you good coffee, sweet dreams, restful days, peace in the midst of inner and outer storms. I wish you a listening heart, protection against any evil schemes, Forgiveness, everyday, of yourself and others. I wish you bright colors, good smells, a purpose in each day; patience when your agenda is invaded by another’s. Good books, Strength to say, “No;” Strength to say, “Yes.” Hope for your future and kind words.
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